Susan Smith, a South Carolina woman who admitted to drowning her two children 30 years ago, was unanimously denied parole after she appeared before the board for the first time on Wednesday.

“I know that what I did was horrible. And I would give anything if I could go back and change it,” Smith, overcome with emotion, told the parole board via Zoom. “I love Michael and Alex with all my heart.”

On Oct. 25, 1994, Smith, then 23 years old, strapped her sons — 3-year-old Michael and 14-month-old Alexander — into their car seats and let the car roll into a lake near her home.

At first, Smith lied to police and said a Black man carjacked her and kidnapped her sons. Smith’s husband believed her, and the young parents appeared on TV to plead for the suspect to bring the boys home.

On Nov. 3, 1994, police confronted Susan Smith about her story, and she admitted to the killings.

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The board mentioned how her case took resources away from the law enforcement community who searched for her sons. Asked what she would say to the responders, Smith said, “I’m sorry that I put them through that.”

“I wish I could take that back, I really do,” Smith, now 53, said. “I didn’t lie to get away with it. … I was just scared. I didn’t know how to tell the people that love them that they’d never see them again.”

“I am a Christian and God is a big part of my life. And I know he has forgiven me,” Smith said.

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Susan Smith’s ex-husband, David Smith, was emotional as he asked the board to deny parole.

“This wasn’t a tragic mistake. … She purposely meant to end their life,” he said, adding, “I’ve never felt any remorse from her for it.”

“She came pretty close to causing me to end my life because of the grief that she brought upon me,” David Smith said.

So far his ex-wife has served “15 years per child,” he said. “It’s just not enough.”

David Smith’s current wife, Tiffany Smith, asked the board to keep Susan Smith in prison for life to give the family some peace.

She said her husband can’t get out of bed some days because of the pain.

“Michael and Alex didn’t get a chance at life. They were forced the death penalty,” she said.

Tommy Pope, the prosecutor in the case, also asked the board to deny parole, saying, “Susan has always focused on Susan.”

“Susan made a horrible, horrible choice to choose a man over her family,” Pope said. “If she could have put David in the car, he would’ve been there, too.”

“For the crime she committed … that punishment has not been achieved yet,” Pope said.

At the trial, prosecutors argued the young mom was having an affair and said her boyfriend broke off the relationship because of her children.

Susan Smith’s defense said she planned to die by suicide with her children, but left the car at the last second.

Pope noted Wednesday that “she wasn’t wet, she wasn’t injured” when she ran for help.

The defense also focused on her mental health and her childhood; Susan Smith’s stepfather testified that he sexually abused her for years.

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Susan Smith was convicted but spared the death penalty and sentenced to life in prison.

She is eligible for a parole hearing every two years beginning at the 30-year mark.

David Smith told the parole board Wednesday, “I will be here every two years going forward to ensure that their death doesn’t go in vain.”

Susan Smith has faced disciplinary action several times in prison, including for sexual encounters with corrections officers, drug possession and for giving contact information for family and her ex-husband to a documentary producer.

Susan Smith’s attorney, Tommy Thomas, told the parole board this case is about “the dangers of untreated mental health.” He said Susan Smith had undiagnosed depression after her second son was born.

Thomas highlighted that she has no prior criminal history, and he said if she’s paroled, she’d live with her brother.

Susan Smith denied parole 30 years after killing her 2 sons originally appeared on abcnews.go.com